“Uy, sa Saturday na daw ang labas ng ACET results!" I heard a classmate say last week.
I don’t really know what to feel. A part of me was afraid. I was scared that the results might not be in my favor. I was afraid to fail. I don’t want to fail. But a part of me says, “I don’t even care.”
I knew that it is impossible for me to study in Ateneo. If ever my brain surpasses the exam, I still can’t study there because I know that my family cannot afford the Atenean education. I could only hope for a big scholarship grant. My mother once told me, “Anak, kahit 200% pa ang scholarship mo dyan, hindi talaga natin kaya.”
I just had to accept that Ateneo will just be one of my dream schools. (UP is my ultimate dream school tho, haha) It was only just a dream. I accepted it because I knew from the start that we don’t hove the money for such a luxurious education.
I still tried. I got my application forms and also applied for a scholarship. I hoped.
I find it weird that I found the test quite easy tho. It was really hard but some parts of it weren’t. When I first took the ACET in January 2013 for the AJSS qualifying exam, it was the most draining exam I’ve ever met. Whut?
And how do I even begin with my essay? The electricity went out in our testing site when I was writing my essay. Good thing, I was beside the windows. I immediately grabbed the curtains, searching for a good light source. I swear I looked stupid.
After the test, I felt quite relieved. I was just glad that it’s over. My friends and I even watched Insidious 2 after. I’ve never felt nervous ever again, not until last week.
All my fears and doubts went back. This morning, we had a club meeting in our school for the Honor Society. I was a volunteer in facilitating the games for the day. I knew that I won’t be home when the results are released at 12 noon.
I saw that one of my classmates was on the phone. She was talking to a friend in ADMU who was checking the results at ADMU. She already announced that one of my classmates passed. Then she told that one other classmate was on the waiting list. That’s when I went really doubtful of my success. She was a very smart student. Than there’s me. I doubt if there’s still hope for me.
She asked me if I applied for a scholarship, then texted my name to her friend. Her friend didn’t reply. For two hours, we did not hear anything about our fate.
I don’t always wish for things, but when I saw the time on my phone, I did. 11:11 “ACET,” I thought. When noon came, our club meting was concluded. My friends and stayed in school for a while, just to rest and chat. All of a sudden my classmate said, "Montalbo, BS ME. 100TFA."
"Pucha! Tunay?!" I shouted. I was and still am in a state of shock. I never expected to pass in a freaking honors program. I also never expected to have my scholarship application approved. I hoped, but I never expected it to happen.
This is a big blessing for me. I have proven myself. I did it. But I think I won’t go to Ateneo. It still is a luxurious way of living for us. The dorm rates are too high. And I think I like Mechanical Engineering in UPD more than I like Management Engineering in Ateneo.
Nonetheless, this is one of the greatest blessings I have received. ♥
Seven days ago, I woke up to Kris Aquino’s voice. I must have overslept again. Lazy me did not want to get up right away. Instead, I got my iPod from my bedside table and checked Twitter. I was surprised to see a lot of notifications waiting. People have been tweeting me for a while now.
I checked the tweets, and all of them seem to be celebrating something. They were congratulating me for something I do not know of. A friend mentioned that I should treat her some pizza. Another friend tweeted my senior PMT officer that I “passed.” One friend asked me to lend her my brain. I had no idea what all of those meant. Passed? For what? I wasn’t expecting any college entrance test results until late January 2014, so all of those seem strange for me.
I jumped out of bed and went out of my room. I saw my mom and my sister. “Ano ga ‘to? San ga daw ako pumasa?” I said. My sister said that one word, UPCAT. That left me speechless.
I wanted to say “WHAT THE FUCK?!” But I remembered that we never curse at home. I occasionally curse, but never at home. I was very surprised. I wasn’t expecting this news. It was strange for the University of the Philippines to release the results of the examinations this early. We weren’t expecting this until February of next year. The news alone that I passed had left me flabbergasted. I don’t even know if I passed in the campus and degree program of my choice.
I quickly got my laptop and turned it on. I went to the UPCAT results website, but damn, the server is so slow. My knees are shaking, and I got teary-eyed. I was close to hyperventilating. The page still isn’t loading. I tweeted my friends that I can’t see the results. Good thing, a friend tweeted me a link to a mirror site. That was when I realized that my iPod has a web browser. Stupid.
I saw my name on page 84. Fuck yes! It was so surreal. I passed in UP Diliman, my first choice; the campus with the highest UPG requirement. And I passed in my first choice; a quota course. I never expected that I’ll pass. I had lost my confidence with the UPCAT results. This was a big surprise for me. When I heard the I passed, I thought that I passed in my UPLB. UPD tho. I mean, whuuuuuuut?
I was overwhelmed. I was really close to crying. This was an early Christmas gift, the best gift. I couldn’t ask for more. And just yesterday, after months of convincing and pleading, I finally convinced my parents to let me study in UP. I’m a step closer to my dreams. This just made more excited for college. There were even some sleepless nights for me spent on thinking and searching for things about UP. But now, I need to cherish my last months of being a high school senior in SBC. Saying goodbye might be hard, but it’s a relief that there’s another home waiting for me.
Hi! Please help me make my dream of meeting All Time Low come true. I know that this won’t benefit you but what is 10 seconds of your free time? This is just a simple thing to ask for but it would mean a lot to me. Click the link and vote for the entry under the name Angelo Montalbo. Pleeease? :)
Enter to win this design if it’s printed! Score designs to help decide who’ll be the next great Threadless artist.
PLEASE SCORE MY DESIGN ON THREADLESS. PLEASE, GUYS. ITS A TFiOS SHIRT THO. SO PLEASE SCORE IT A 5. :(
Hi. I’m moving out of this blog.
Naisip ko kasi na I need a new start. Matagal ko na rin kasing di ito nagagalaw. I want to have a comeback to tumblr. Di rin naman ako sure kung maa-update ko yun as often as how I was blogging before pero I’ll do my best. :D
It’s not really a new start. Nasimulan ko na kasi yung blog na yun noon pa pero naiwan ko rin. It was supposed to be like a secret blog. Yun bang I was posting stuff with a different identity. May pseudonym pa ako noon ha. Haha. It was supposed to be incognito pero I’ll share it now as Jeyo. :)
I’ll be writing more. I’ll be more artistic. I’ll be better.
Hindi naman ako magdedeactivate eh. Sayang rin naman itong blog na ‘to.
So bye muna sa timidosijeyo.tumblr.com, sa theunspeakableone.tumblr.com, sa torpeng-torpe.tumblr.com, sa suuuper-tanga.tumblr.com, sa jeyo-ology.tumblr.com, at sa isatkalahatinggago.tumblr.com na mga naging URL ng blog kong ito.
Mag-hello na kayo sa spilled prodigy, sa batang nawawala kalawakan.
Malala na ito. Malalang malala. Ito ang problema ng napakaraming kalalakihan sa mundo. Pati siguro babae pero di naman problema ng mga babae ang panunuyo eh. Problema nga ba ito ng maraming tao o konti lang ang talagang nahihirapan? Torpe. Ang ikling salita pero ang bigat-bigat dalhin. Ano nga ba ang mga dahilan kung bakit nagiging torpe ang isang lalaki?
- Langit siya, lupa ako. ─ Para sa’yo, wala kayo sa iisang antas. Hanggang tingin ka nalang kasi hinding hindi mo siya maabot. Yun naman ay opinion mo lang. Pinapaniwalaan mong hindi magiging kayo kasi: mayaman siya at mahirap ka, cool siya at invisible ka, matalino siya at hindi ka pinalad, at marami pang rason na magagawa mo para lang piliting hindi kayo pwede.
- Paano na yung friendship? ─ Naging friends kasi kayo. Meron kayong namuong samahan na pinapalahagahan mo. You value it so much na natatakot ka na baka mawala lang yun. Kung ayaw niya pala sa’yo, magiging awkward yung relationship niyo at mawawala yung nabuo niyong friendship. Nawala yung connection niyo.
- Pano kung… ─ Madami kang tanong. Natatakot ka kasi. Hindi mo alam kung ano yung naghihintay sa’yo kaya nagaalinlangan kang sumubok. Hindi mo kayang sumugod. Iniisip mo na baka mas ayos kung pag-iisipan mo muna kaso yung mga naiisip mo ay nakakapanghina para sa’yo.
- Duwag ka.
Madami pang mga rason kung bakit nagiging torpe ang lalaki. Lalaki rin ang may kasalanan. Ikaw yung lalaki kaya dapat maging matapang ka. Wag kang matakot. Baka One Time Big Time yan kaya go na.
Ask her out. You’re the man, you do the move.
Trust. Small word with big meanings.
I am not that friendly guy. I don’t like big social groups and being in a crowded area. Strangers creep the hell out of me. I can’t trust. That’s it; I’m a kid with serious trust issues. I have this constant fear that someone might be behind me with a knife, ready to stab me. I’m not used to introductions. I don’t like hi-hello’s and telling stuff to people I don’t know. Earn my trust and you’ll meet a friend. I’ll be not that shy guy who doesn’t like people when we’re friends.
Trust is not just a thing that you’ll find while walking on the street. Trust is a prize, a reward for your efforts of making a person your friend. Trust is fragile, so don’t you ever think play naughty with it if you don’t want to lose it.
Trust is one great thing.